I have demons in me.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize
