She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
