Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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