There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I stole a fireplace last night.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
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