Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Randomize
