When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
Randomize
