Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Randomize
