Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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