You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Randomize
