i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
