it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
