That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
