Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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