before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Randomize
