Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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