I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Randomize
