Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Randomize
