the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
