I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Randomize
