Swine flu is the new snow day.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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