like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
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