i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Randomize
