Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Randomize
