trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
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