There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
