if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Randomize
