He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
