is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
