Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
