I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
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