one might say we're banned from that church
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Randomize
