Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
