Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
