I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I'd cum for enchiladas.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
