I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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