her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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