sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
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