I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Still dying that you shit outside
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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