The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
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