Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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