I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
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