I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Randomize
