If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Rumble strips road head = magical
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
