don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
