My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Randomize
