Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
