So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
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