I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
I party with great urgency now.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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