Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Randomize
