I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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